I am having a terrible day. Not being a mother on mother's day makes it a very difficult day. I keep getting angry over the smallest things and my husband is having absolutely no compassion for my fragile state of mind. eh! I just don't know how I'm going through at this point. Somethings gotta give!
No They didn't give me a pain pump. They gave me a nerve block. That was scary. it felt like my arm wasn't even there at all. It finally started coming back to life again on Saturday. So i have a new problem now. I am constipated. Haven't had a bowel movement since before my surgery early Thursday morning. Woooooooo Hoooooooo. I threw up yesterday and this medicine makes me feel weird all day long. I just want to wake up and take a normal shower and go to work and have a normal day. I'M BORED!
Read more...I'm home now. I had my shoulder surgery and everything went well. Can't really type yet =(
I may not really post much, but I'll try to read and comment every so often.
Thanks for all the support!
Tonight is GIRLS NIGHT IN! No cuteness allowed. Must wear Pj's or sweats. Must eat junk. Must watch at least 2 chic-flicks. Must have FUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I want to hear about the craziest things you and your girlfriends do? This may inspire a blog or two about me and my friends and our ridiculously outrageous and totally immature girl's nights. I'll try to keep it G rated! (I mean we are all Christians...) We are always looking for new and exciting stuff to do to celebrate our girlhood, wifeiness and mom lives. Ideas, ideas, ideas.... we need some original ideas to really make our get-togethers memorable!
I need to hear some inspirational stories.... please!?
Ok – I would not advise a breakfast-in-bed on a very big day. My poor hubby was so nervous this morning every time he tried to take a bite he thought he was going to throw up! At least he tried for me… I was really disappointed and hurt at first because initially he said….
“You eat it honey I’m not hungry yet.”
“But I made it for you…”
“I wish you would have told me first.”
I was immediately overcome by tears. (Lucky he could not see them.) I left his breakfast on the table and carried on with my morning routine. I was going through the scenario in my head and thinking of all the times something I did for johnny just wasn’t good enough. The phrase that haunts me as a wife, “I wish you would…” I remembered how I used to clean the house EVERY day, until Johnny started complaining that I should only set aside one day and that should be Saturdays. (This is the way his mother scheduled cleaning.)
You see, I was the house keeper in my parent’s home. My mother was deeply depressed and slept all day. As you can tell, I did not have a very good example of what a wife was supposed to do… but I knew it was my job to care for Johnny. So I tried my best to adjust, but it just seemed like nothing I ever did was good enough. I let the dishes soak too long in the sink while the I waited for the scolding water to cool. I didn’t wash big enough loads of laundry and wasted time and energy. (Although, I must inform you that Johnny broke our washer twice from over filling it!) And I definitely didn’t do any of it fast enough.
I think it was hard for Johnny to adjust to another person… as is anyone. He is a perfectionist and I am a spontaneous mess (smile). The problem is that I gave up after that first year trying to please my husband. He quickly started cleaning and washing. He said he didn’t mind, but I knew he did it so that I wouldn’t do it the ‘wrong’ way. As the last few years went by he seems to resent me for letting him to do the house work. We both work full-time and I always take care of dinner and the bathroom. So I didn’t see a problem with this and let him entertain is own perfectionist issues by doing it himself.
Johnny has been laid-off for 2 months now. I remember when he would come home from work and get all irritated and in a bad mood when the bed was not made. The funny thing is that he is still in bed when I leave in the morning… so I cannot make it. When I come home I do not get mad at him because the bed is not made or the dishes are still dirty in the sink. The first few weeks of being laid-off, he did it all. The house was clean everyday and the bed was made. I guess he got burned out!
Does anyone ever have that ‘I’m never going to be good enough’ feeling in their marriage? How did you overcome it? It hurts too much for me still. I am a people-pleaser by nature and I hate that I can’t make him happy.
I am trying to show Johnny I love him through actions… his love language is ‘acts of service’. And everything I am doing is just because I love him. This morning I had to put my hurt aside and remember I did not do it for myself or my own ‘feel good’ for being a good little wife. I did it to remind him that I loved him enough to give up some of my precious sleep and take away from my make-up and hair time for his care. And even if he wasn’t hungry, I accomplished what I set out to do. Sometimes people aren’t going to understand you or receive your acts of service like you want them to… but that doesn’t mean you give up!
This is so much fun! I love surprising my husband with all these sweet little things. It is true, the saying… "It’s the little things that count”. Today my hubby emailed me and said “thank you for the note on the bathroom mirror, it was sweet.” All I did was write a list of the the things I love about him...
Tomorrow… I am going to give him Breakfast in bed… it may be a little overkill on the love dare, but He’s going to put in a very important application and I think it would give him the confidence he needs. =)
Last night after I took him out with the money I won from a game at work to see 'Taken', we went home and watched our favorite shows and I picked up the Monday special pizza we get every week. All night I was taking the dog out (he has s small bladder and we live in a condo so I can’t just let him out to run). Johnny looked a little puzzled as he asked... "What do you want?” I laughed because I was just doing it to be kind… to think of him first and not be such a baby about doing the little things. He definitely noticed already and it's only day 3. The sad thing is that I took advantage of all the little things he does and didn’t do the same for him. It kind of broke my heart that he was so shocked that I offered to do something so small. I guess I’m not as selfless as I had thought!
I have just started a new Book/Devotion/Challenge. Have any of you ever seen “Fire Proof”? It is an awesome movie that really puts marriage in perspective. My husband and I enjoyed it and also learned a whole lot. The movie features a couple with marital problems and the husband takes a dare from his father for 40 days to restore the marriage. It is in the form of a book, Love Dare, that gives you 40 daily challenges. I am currently on day two. It’s not hard - yet, but I have a feeling this isn’t going to be easy and I’m afraid its going to point out all of my shortcomings… but that is ok because I need to take a step back every so often and look at my marriage and the wife I am becoming. I think this is going to be a wonderful 40 day journey that will change me =) I’ll try to comment on the struggles and the blessings throughout these 40 days! I hope there is a new me at the end!
Yesterday’s Challenge: Patience/ Resolve to say nothing negative to your spouse.
Today’s Challenge: Kindness/ Do something unexpected for your spouse.
If anyone has done this, tell me what you learned and if it changed your marriage!
It would be nice to have someone to share with if anyone was planning on doing this any time soon!!! – I dare you to!
Answers by children: This is absolutely adorable!!! – I had to Post it.
HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHO TO MARRY?
1. You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like, if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and dip coming.
Alan: aged 10
2. No person really decides before they grow up who they're going to marry. God decides it all way before, and you get to find out later who you're stuck with.
Kirsten: age 10
WHAT IS THE RIGHT AGE TO GET MARRIED?
1. Twenty-three is the best age because you know the person FOREVER by then.Camille: age 10
2. No age is good to get married at. You got to be a fool to ge married.
Freddie: age 6 (very wise for his age)
HOW CAN A STRANGER TELL IF TWO PEOPLE ARE MARRIED?
1. You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be yelling at the same kids.
Derrick: age 8
WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR MOM AND DADHAVE IN COMMON?
1. Both don't want any more kids.
Lori: age 8
WHAT DO MOST PEOPLE DO ON A DATE?
1. Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get to know each other. Even boys have something to say if you listen long enough.
Lynnette: age 8 (isn't she a treasure)
2. On the first date, they just telleach other lies and that usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date.
Martin: age 10
WHAT WOULD YOU DO ON A FIRST DATETHAT WAS TURNING SOUR?
1. I'd run home and play dead. The next day I would call all the newspapers and make sure they wrote about me in all the dead columns.
Craig: age 9
WHEN IS IT OKAY TO KISS SOMEONE?
1. When they're rich.
Pam: age 7
2. The law says you have to be eighteen, so I wouldn't want to mess with that.
Curt: age 7
3. The rule goes like this: If you kiss someone, then you should marry them and have kids with them. It's theright thing to do.
Howard: age 8
IS IT BETTER TO BE SINGLE OR MARRIED?
1. I don't know which is better, but I'll tell you one thing; I'm never going to have sex with my wife. I don't want to be all grossed out.
Theodore: age 8
2. It's better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need someone to clean up after them.
Anita: age 9 (bless you child)
HOW WOULD THE WORLD BE DIFFERENTIF PEOPLE DIDN'T GET MARRIED?
1. There sure would be a lot of kids to explain, wouldn't there
Kelvin: age 8
And the Favorite is...
HOW WOULD YOU MAKE A MARRIAGE WORK?
1. Tell your wife that she looks pretty, even if she looks like a truck.
Ricky: age 10
Well last night, through my tears, I told the teenagers that I would not be their youth leader anymore. They prayed for Johnny and I and it was great. I love hearing their hearts in prayer. They are a powerful group of young people. I can’t wait to see them all again and hug them longer than I’ve ever hugged them =) I already miss them and I haven’t even been away for a whole 24 hours yet.
Has anyone ever had to give something up that was so knit into your heart you thought it would break you? I’d like to hear some of your stories and how it worked out…
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Thanks Krystyn for informing me that my comments didn't work! I thought I was a BlogSpot reject! =)
i just wanted to praise the lord. this month has not been easy, but god is good anyways. this week has been tough, but god is good anyways. the dr. news hasn't been good yet, but god is good anyways. every test has come back negative, but god is good anyways. i am not perfect and nothing i do seems to be good enough for everyone, but god is good anyways."Lord, I thank you for being my strength and for
Your goodness when nothing else can make me smile."
Yesterday was full of badness (yes I said badness). Nothing was good about it. Nothing. And don't get me started on this morning.... *sigh*
So, I totally want to write about what really happens in my life, but do you ever feel like you need to protect those people who hurt you because you love them and you know they didn't mean it? I hate giving people a bad impression of my hubby. Well, lets just say he was being terrible this morning. I know when he doesn't get his way he is a total jerk, but man he was just downright mean to me all the way to work. I'm not going to say anything he said because he's not a bad guy... he's just having an 'off' day. I'm sure he'll be his loving self by the time I get home tonight. My problem is that I just want to punch him real quit and shut him up =). Don't worry I don't do that.... I just said I 'wanted' to.
Church is becoming a complicated ground to walk on as well. I can't find my place anymore. I know I am going to be called somewhere else soon...
So, I just got back from the Doc... Bad news. I have to have surgery on the 12th of February. Keep me in your prayers! The only reason that date would change is if I find out I'm pregnant... so we'll see in two weeks when I can finally test! This also means that I won't continue my last cycle of Clomid until after the surgery. It will be good to get this over with Pre-Baby rather than Post-baby anyways... I think.
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